Two more days until the Harry Potter party. And now my main concern is if I have enough stuff to do to keep all those kids occupied for 2 1/2 hours.

We have things planned, natch. We’ll start with a banquet feast that includes mini tacos (Julia’s not into treacle) and the Harry Potter theme as background music. Then the presentation of the wands. Then there’s Silly Divinations during which I, dressed as Trelawney, will be reading the future of each of the kids. Julia and I had a ball coming up with the most ridiculous futures. They’re printed on parchment in Harry Potter font. Then a game of Pass the Basilisk, ala hot potato. When the music stops, whoever has the Basilisk is petrified and OUT! A game of Harry Potter Scene It projected on the castle wall - the kids will divide up in 4 teams and we’ll make sure each team has a Potter expert, as not all kids are as well versed in Potter as a certain handful I know.

Finally,  there’s the Yule Ball Petrificus Totalus Dance. Snape (my brother John in costume and character) will oversee this. It’s like a freeze dance, only when the music stops, he will pertify them and those still moving will be out. The kids LOVE the freeze dance and we do a thematically appropriate version at every party.

I will have a cauldron of prizes and we always make sure that every kid wins a prize.

We might throw in a dementor attack or two. Just to give us an excuse to eat chocolate. Not that I need any.

Here are some more homemade decorations. I’m doing the actual decorating tomorrow and will post photos of the finished product then.

Every Grand Hall must have house flags. I’m hanging 4 over each of 4 tables representing each of the Houses of Hogwarts.  And also the Hogwarts Crest which will hang at the front of the Hall (aka my garage).  Made with felt and photos of the crests.

We also did an Ollivanders sign to hang up over the basket of wands. Just for ambiance.

More in coming days. Wish me luck!

Despite a suggestion from a MAMMAKAZE reader that I may be over-indulging my child and therefore creating a spoiled brat of a monster who will come to expect everything handed to her and may one day have a public breakdown, shave her hair in front of paparazzi and blame me for all her shortcomings… we continue our party prep.

In for a penny, in for a pound I say.

Today we showcase some of the crafts (handmade and otherwise) that we hope will add to the ambiance of Hogwarts (aka my garage).

As anyone can tell you, one cannot be a witch or a wizard worth their salt without, you guessed it, a wand. And therefore, we have handmade wands for everyone, courtesy of our friend Al E. (Al you rock!) who hand carved all 30 of them. Julia and I stained them and individualized them.

Handmade wands for all witches and wizards. No unforgivable curses please.

Julia staining wands. She was really good at it! And very determined and specific about having a variety of shades.

And since I refused to cough up the $25 bucks it costs to purchase the sign on Amazon, we made our own Platform 9 3/4 Hogwarts sign which was meant to hang in the courtyard, but probably will hang in the house since rain is in the forecast.

And while we couldn’t get life-sized Quidditch brooms for all attendees, we did get them little broom pens with the words “Hogwarts School of Magic” embossed on the side.  A fun keepsake AND amazingly cheap!

As Julia used to say when she was around 18 months, “How you think?” Cool, huh? Tomorrow, house flags, the Hogwarts banner and also the Ollivander sign (if it turns out okay). Have gold spray paint, will…uh, create signage.

Again, feel free to comment on my madness. It makes for controversy and controversy is good for traffic! Until tomorrow!

THE HARRY POTTER BIRTHDAY EXTRAVAGANZA PART ONE 

I like to think of myself as a regular mom. Not one of those over-achieving, everything has to be perfect, look at my kid who is the center of my universe kind of moms. But I’ll admit… mostly under duress… and mostly under duress by Randy the perfekt husband that, yes, on occasion, I have been known to go a little over-the-top when it comes to my kid.

Case in point. Her birthday parties. In my defense, she’s not one of those kids who likes location parties. She prefers them at home. At heart, she’s a hostess like her mother. Also, she never wants to leave anyone out. Yes. Even boys. She has a handful who are close friends and they MUST be invited as well. Which means an 8 girl slumber party is out. Also Randy (despite his ire at being lumped in with Barbara or any of the Bush’s) is a vocal opponent of leaving any child behind. So given these strict parameters, you can imagine that trimming the guest list can be very difficult… which is why it never happens.

AND which is why we have 27 CHILDREN coming to Julia’s Harry Potter themed party this weekend!

Now personally, I wouldn’t have a problem trimming the guest list. But I am overruled in this matter. No, where I fail to say no is in the area of theme… and decoration… and party hijinks!

Is it the need to prove myself as a good mom? Is it guilt for making Julia an only child? Is it because I’m lacking a creative outlet and need to do something, anything to vent my artistic frustrations? Is it just fun? You be the judge.

The following photos are some of the Harry Potter prep for this upcoming SPECTACULAR SPECTACULAR. Those of you in the Potter know will appreciate the handiwork, I think.

First we did invitations in the form of Hogwarts School Acceptance Letters. We did them on parchment and sealed them with wax and a stamp with a “J” for, you guessed it, the birthday girl herself.

Unable to bring myself to pay the $5.00 a bag they charge at Whimsic Alley for these, we made our own bags of Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans.

Then we made labels for Hershey’s chocolate bars for EMERGENCY CHOCOLATES in case of Dementor Attacks.

Whet your appetite did I? Or maybe I just made you want to throw up with how annoying and over-the-top I am. Don’t fret. You wouldn’t be the first.

Anyway, tomorrow, I’ll post some of the decorations. And they’re pretty crazy! We should be totally done with them by then. And when the party is totally done, I will post a blow by blow “HOW TO” in case you want to throw a Harry Potter party for the little witch or wizard in YOUR life!

Happy Parenting!

Okay. It’s T minus 6 days until the SPECTACULAR SPECTACULAR known as Julia’s annual birthday party. Yes. I go all out. However, this year I may have outdone myself. Because we’re throwing a Harry Potter themed B-Day party for which I have made all manner of fantabulous things: bags of Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans, House Flags, Emergency Dementor chocolates. I mean, I’m turning my garage into Hogwarts and I have several adults dressing up as professors! It’s totally cool. And I’ll post some of the pics this week.

But for now, I wanted all my readers to know that if I come across a little “Judy Garland on pills and booze after finding Vincente Minelli with another dude-ish” this week, you know why.  No… it doesn’t have anything to do with Randy the perfekt husband and another dude! It’s all the party prep. We’re having 27 kids! Aaaaggggghhhhh!

Also my birthday is coming up too. And every birthday since my 35th has been a little unnerving. You know, the whole time marches on thing. It freaks me out and I find it more than a little unfair and I wish there was some place I could write to complain, because if I could I know I could get whoever is responsible to do away with it. Seriously. I’m talented that way.  I wrote Disneyland once about a Cast Member who cursed in line at The Haunted Mansion and got a free meal at the Blue Bayou Restaurant.

Anyway, come back daily and share the party prep hijinks and the disintegration of my nerves. It’ll provide MUCH amusement. I assure you!

Also, spread the word about MAMMAKAZE…if you dare!

In case, like me, you get confused by which movie is which, Star Wars Episode IV is really the first Star Wars that came out way back in 1977. And if you ask Julia, who actually has a VERY good sense of what makes a decent story - is really the best of the Star Wars films. She found the last three (and by that I mean Episodes I, II and III)  almost unwatchable. “Too much fighting, not enough about the babies,” she said when we watched them back when she was about 5.

I’m pretty sure that’s what Roger Ebert had to say too.

Well, here’s another little girl, this one aged 3, who had quite a bit to say about the first Star Wars, and by that I mean Episode IV. This video was sent in by GARY. Thanks, Gary for confirming to me that Leonard Maltin is waaaay overpaid.

“Don’t talk back to Darth Vader…He’ll getcha.”

No truer words were ever spoken. Well, except maybe,”I suggest you make darn sure you don’t eat the last of the chocolate for the next 5 to 7 days.”

In a move usually reserved for poorly translated Japanese products (see accompanying photos below) Apple has blundered in naming their latest product.

I mean, the iPad? Really? Did they have the same marketing research company as the folks who came up with Anusol, Vagisil and Grey Poupon?

Already the internet is flooded with complaints and jokes (mostly from women) about the name for this new and apparently very underwhelming product.

Fellow MAMMAKAZE Trudy has already railed against it. She says on her Facebook:

Ipad. Sorry, from a female’s perspective that is THE worst possible name. “I’m just going to plug in my ipad”. “I need to refresh my ipad”. “Do you have a spare ipad?” Don’t they have any women working at Apple?

Apparently not, Trudy. Apparently not. And by the way, very funny.  Know what else is funny? The following is a skit about the iPad from those jokesters at MadTV.  Enjoy.

Other really BAAAAAAAD NAMES for products. I mean, who thought of THESE? Steve Jobs?