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Alltop, confirmation that I kick ass


Author: toni

~ 06/25/09

 

What a week!  It was a whirlwind! Packed with all kinds of exciting activities. For Julia that is. Did I mention that she has a more active social life than I do?  On one particular day she had SWIM LESSONS, followed by SCIENCE CAMP and then straight to PIANO LESSONS.  .

Know what I did on a summer day when I was a kid? Watched old reruns of “THE BRADY BUNCH”. Or played outside until the streetlights came on. Whatever best suited the edict that we “stay out of our mom’s hair” cuz she didn’t have an “Alice” to do the laundry or prepare meals for a family of seven.

My mom didn’t feel one iota of guilt about any of it. Me? Oh yeah. I’m guilt central. So, to help ease the guilt, I believe I’ll have a cocktail, thank you! Oh please. It’s only once a week.

Anyhow, after the MUDSLIDE recipe, there were reports of disgruntled mommies who wanted something simpler, with fewer ingredients and less reading involved. Cuz after a guilt-filled week, who wants to follow a complicated recipe? So here it is. Simple yet sweet. Something lovely for a hot summer’s day.

 

LO-CAL* BELLINI

3/4 small flute of champagne

1/4 flute of peach puree

 

Spoon peach puree in bottom of champagne flute. Fill to top with champagne.

 

HOW’S THAT FOR SIMPLE? If it was any simpler it would be, well, just a glass of champagne!

 

ENJOY! And remember, don’t feel guilt and drive!

*NOTE: Also, look into sugar-free, low-calorie cocktail mixes such as Baja Bob’s, perfect for low-carb dieters, Weight Watchers members, or just those diet-conscious social drinkers!

 

 

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Author: toni

 

I join the masses in saying that I am sorry to hear of the passing of Michael Jackson today. He was such a HUGE part of my youth. An icon. But mostly I’m sad because he was such a conflicted human being and never seemed to find happiness and peace in his lifetime.

HOWEVER, as a mom, I’m conflicted too. I have VERY MIXED FEELINGS about this man. Yes. He was a true talent. A great singer, dancer, and songwriter as everyone is saying everywhere on the internet and in the news. But he was also a very disturbed and disturbing man.  Whether or not you believe he was a pedophile, whether you see him as a VICTIM or a VICTIMIZER, he definitely had an unnatural attraction to young children. A grown man who had sleepovers with little boys is NOT NORMAL. And neither were the money-grubbing parents who allowed their children to be alone with this man. Whatever they accused Mr. Jackson of could not have have occured without their complicity. In my book, they were as guilty as he was… if not more so. And even if he was never convicted…where there’s smoke, there’s fire.

While everyone else is going on about the sadness of the loss of this great talent, I have to ask myself: WHAT ABOUT HIS THREE CHILDREN? My thoughts turn to PRINCE, PARIS and BLANKET. (None of whom, by the way, were even mentioned in any of the articles I read about his death).

I wonder who will take them? And will they be in a safe and loving home? I don’t know about you, but I’m not convinced they were in a safe home with Mr. Jackson, given his history and predilections. One hopes that whatever someone is capable of doing to others, they would not do such things to their own children. Unfortunately, statistically, that is not always the case. In fact, it’s usually NOT the case. Most child sexual abuse happens at the hands of a family member NOT, as we mommies are brainwashed to fear, STRANGERS. Whatever happened to these kids behind closed doors (and we may never know)– they certainly did not have a “normal” life, living in the public eye, forced to wear surgical masks over their faces.

So where WILL they go? Will they go to their mother(s)?  The women who essentially were nothing more than the female equivalent of sperm donors? Who seemingly have been very absent from these kids’ lives up to now?  That can’t be good for them. But it might be the lesser of evils. However, given that DEBBIE ROWE signed away all her legal rights to the kids for BIG BUCKS, she’s not in line to take them anyway. The identity of the mother of the 3rd child has not been released. She may have been a paid surrogate, in which case, it’s unlikely she has any legal claim either.

So who DOES LEGALLY have rights to the children? God forbid they fall into the hands of their GRANDPARENTS. Look what they did to their own kids! Michael Jackson did not become the self-loathing, mentally disturbed human being whom we watched deteriorate over the last several years without some underlying reason. Someone who disfigures himself so extremely, who changes the very color of his skin, is not happy in that skin. AND WHY WAS THAT? Some of it may have had to do with his celebrity.  But, I’ve no doubt it also had something to do with, yes, his parents. His siblings have come out and said that their father JOE JACKSON was not only physically abusive, but even sexually abusive.

It is my sincerest hope that those three kids DO NOT go to the Jackson clan.

To break them up and put them into foster homes would also be wrong, and not likely. Let’s hope Mr. Jackson had the the presence of mind to make appropriate arrangements and that he did so with a suitable guardian who would be genuinely interested in the welfare of the kids and NOT any money they could make off the freak show that was Michael Jackson’s life.

My heart goes out to these kids.  Every child deserves to be loved and protected. Tragically, usually due to the adults around them, this is not always their fate.

 

UPDATE: Julia just walked in and accidentally saw the picture of Michael Jackson above while I was working on this post. It FREAKED HER OUT! She doesn’t know who he is. She’s whimpering that now she’s going to have nightmares.  Even after he’s gone, he’s still messing with kids.

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Author: toni

~ 06/24/09

 

So if you’re familiar with my website, you know I occasionally do MOVIE REVIEWS featuring either GOOD MOMMIES IN MOVIES (for inspiration) or BAD MOMMIES IN MOVIES (for vindication).  Well…

WEEDS is back for season 5! And in honor of that I am adding it to my Bad Mommies in Movies list. Oh, also my Good Mommies in Movies. Cuz know what? A mamma can be a little of both.  Mary Louise Parker’s character in the Showtime series WEEDS is. I am. Aren’t you…a little?

 

ANY EPISODE OF THE SHOWTIME SERIES “WEEDS” – I’m a fan of WEEDS. I’ve been watching it from the beginning. As a mom, I found the premise totally riveting. NANCY BOTWIN, upper middle class SUBURBAN HOUSEWIFE and MOTHER of 2 suddenly loses her HUSBAND and sole breadwinner to a heart attack. He leaves her penniless. Does she take a job at the Pottery Barn? Uh, not if she wants to keep the pool heated. Actually, not if she wants to keep the pool. Oh, and the house that goes with it. And the lifetsyle that goes with that. What can an under-educated, unemployable 40ish woman do to keep maintain a lifestyle that includes $150 a week Starbucks habit? Duh. Sell WEED!  

Okay, we totally understand a mom doing what she has to do to support her kids. Kudos to her for that. GOOD MOMMY. But selling weed? Even if you totally sympathize in the first couple of seasons, which personally I totally did, by the later seasons, you realize she’s just taking unnecessary risks. Cuz guess what? Nancy emerges as a bit of a thrill junkie who takes to the drug biz and starts going down all sorts of dangerous paths that make us question her suitability as a mommy.  When she begins repeatedly risking her life, we start to think that maybe this obsession to maintain a lifestyle isn’t worth leaving her TWO BOYS without a mother.  BAD MOMMY. But she still has a conscience, as evidenced by her ratting out her Mexican Mafia lover last season. GOOD MOMMY. But now’s she pregnant by him! AND he’s pushing her around and raping her against his desk and she’s just taking it!  BAD MOMMY. Or wait, maybe GOOD MOMMY, cuz she’s doing it to protect her boys. But isn’t she a BAD MOMMY for getting them in this predicament to begin with?

Oh who am I to judge? I’ve not walked in Nancy’s 4 inch tall, spiky, strappy Jimmy Choos. Not that I ever could. Not with my weak ankles and inner ear issues.

Bottom line, the show is a delicious guilty pleasure. Not only does it make you feel better as a mom (hey, at least you aren’t using your kids as your drug mules!) you’ll live a little vicariously through Nancy and all her wild and exciting adventures. (Face it, the only border you’ll be heading for is the one they talk about in the Taco Bell commercial).

Also, you’ll wish you could look so hot and skinny in baby doll dresses despite a constant diet of high-fat blended coffee drinks… oh and this season, a pregnancy!  A must-see for assuaging guilt AND just plain fun. 

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Author: toni

~ 06/23/09

 

When Julia starts dating, one of the first things I’m going to tell her is that UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES IS IT OKAY FOR A GUY TO HURT YOU! Sound obvious? Apparently a lot of YOUNG WOMEN don’t know it’s a bad thing.  In fact, according to statistics 1 in 3 teen girls experience violence at the hands of their boyfriends. And guess what? Some of them think this is normal and a sign of love.

Apparently singer RIHANNA did, because after her boyfriend CHRIS BROWN beat the CRAP out of her, she not only hooked up with him again, she did her darnedest to help him avoid legal punishment. Oh yeah. And did I mention it wasn’t the first time? Her friends reported that she’d sported bruises many times after Chris would get angry or jealous and beat her. She shrugged them off.

Well, sorry Rihanna. It’s NOT OKAY. A guy doesn’t do THAT (see photo right) to a girl, while choking and threatening to kill her, and get away with it. No siree bob. We’ve got laws against that in this country! That’s right.

 

In fact, CHRIS BROWN had his day in court yesterday and is officially GONNA PAY. How, you ask? Let’s see:

 

1) 5 years probation for felony assault (to which he pleaded guilty).

2)  He’ll have to come back to court every three months.

3) He must enroll in a domestic violence counseling program.

4) A five year order to stay at least 50 yards away from Rihanna.

5) Oh, and some community service.

 

Hmmm. Let’s see. NO jail time, 15 minutes out of his life 4 times a year, some online classes about how it’s naughty to beat up women (probably hosted by some Comedy Club veterans to make them more “enjoyable”) and picking up soda cans at the side of the road.  

WOW! Did he get grounded from SPONGEBOB and treats too? Uh, maybe a guy DOES do that to a girl and gets away with it!

Oh but wait. There’s MORE PUNISHMENT. I mean, as a convicted felon you lose some of your rights. For example:

1) To own a gun. (You know he’s pissed about that. A guy who beats a girl probably NEEDS a gun to make him feel powerful, bitch!)

2) Subject to search and seizure without a warrant. (Ooo. Better have his bodyguard carry his stash for him from now on. Oh wait. He already does that!)

3) To sit on a jury. (WHAT?! Hey! NO FAIR! I have to do jury duty in July and I can’t find a sitter! Hmmm. Maybe sometimes it IS okay to beat up a girl.)

 

So, what did the L.A. DISTRICT ATTORNEY’S OFFICE have to say about this “punishment”?

“The punishment is consistent with punishment meted out to other first time offenders with no prior criminal record.”

 

Wow. I don’t know about you. But THAT makes me feel better. Knowing he’s getting the same fair treatment as all those other felonious assaulters who BEAT THE CRAP out of women.

Well. I’m sure CHRIS BROWN has learned his lesson and will NEVER, EVER raise his hand to another woman (not unless he’s planning to finish the job so there are no witnesses).  Right, O.J.?

 

TRUTHFULLY, YA’LL. DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IS A SERIOUS MATTER.

If you or someone you know is the victim of domestic violence, seek help. Here is a link to the NATIONAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE.

www.ndvh.org

INFURIATING UPDATE: The guy who stole Lance Armstrong’s bike is looking at THREE YEARS IN PRISON! CHRIS BROWN for beating a woman. ZERO PRISON TIME! Where is the justice?

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Author: toni

 

Well, it’s official. After weeks of speculation and watching their marriage unravel in the public eye, Jon & Kate have called it quits! They made a statement on their show and filed divorce papers yesterday. 

Normally, we at MAMMAKAZE would have lots of snarky things to say about this situation. It’s our nature. But there’s nothing funny when a family breaks up. On the contrary, it is a tragic day.

It is our hope that the Gosselins find some sense of resolution and peace. And that maybe this separation will actually make Kate and Jon happier. Because children can’t be happy if the adults around them are filled with anger and resentment. No matter how parents may try to hide it, kids sense it. They are smart, intuitive little creatures who sniff out discord and strife. (Although all you needed was eyes, ears and a strong stomach to get the fact that Jon and Kate weren’t happy.)

In the end, it’s all about the kids. And we can only hope that’s where the parents’ hearts are in this instance.

As has been stated before on MAMMAKAZE and will undoubtedly be stated AGAIN:

It is ALWAYS the children who suffer when parents act like morons.

 

Here’s hoping the Gosselins do some growing up now. And I’m not talking about the minors.

UPDATE: TLC has put the show in hiatus until August while they figure out how to turn this divorce thing into a moneymaking venture the family regroups. 

Oops. Sorry. Was that snarky? Me bad.

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Author: toni

~ 06/22/09

 

Welcome to MOVIE MATH! Where we review our movie-going experience and see if it ADDS UP to FAMILY FUN!

 

UP (in 3D) – Well, “UP” wasn’t as much of an upper as I hoped it would be. Nor as much of a downer as I heard it was from my friend JENNIE and bro JOHN - both of whom shed tears during the first 30 minutes. Without giving away too much, there is a set-up story in the first act that pulls at the heartstrings and is the springboard for the rest of the tale.  And while I myself shed a little teardrop or two, it didn’t move me NEARLY as much as that sequence in “TOY STORY 2″ where JESSIE the cowgirl gets left behind by the LITTLE GIRL who once loved her (all to the heartbreaking vocal stylings of SARAH MCLACHLAN). 

I DO like the fact that those folks at PIXAR try to add some real life to their stories. In the case of “UP”  – subjects like unfulfilled life dreams, regret and children who are neglected by their parents. But frankly, it all felt a little contrived and like maybe someone was dropping acid when they did the storyboards. I mean, you’ve got houses that fly on balloon power, boy scouts that are mistaken for mailmen, talking dogs, a psychotic adventurer/killer and a girl bird named Kevin. It’s a little “everything plus the kitchen sink” without a true organic feel to it. And the 3D was nothing to write home about. Or to pay EXTRA to see in a theater for that matter. Not like say in “MONSTERS vs. ALIENS”. Now that was awesome 3D!  I mean, in “UP” hardly anything came OUT at you. Well, except for that Disney logo. That was cool.

So why’d I plunk down all the money for this flick? I’ll tell you why! Cuz the next day, after seeing the movie, I listened as JULIA and her friend JAKE recounted scene after scene that they found HILARIOUSLY FUNNY and then proceeded to DISSOLVE into uncontrollable giggles. Then when they caught their breath, Jake said,”Let’s talk more about the movie!” “OKAY!” Julia replied with delight. And they did. And so, even if the movie fell short of MY expectations. It sure didn’t for two 7 years olds. And hey, what more can you ask from a kid flick?

SOME TEARS + LOTS OF CONTRIVED WACKINESS THAT INDUCES GIGGLES IN 7 YEAR OLDS = A WORTHWHILE WAY TO SPEND AN AFTERNOON      (Just don’t bother to pay extra to see it in 3-D)

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