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Alltop, confirmation that I kick ass


Author: toni

~ 07/28/09

 

Okay. I know I posted this picture once before. But I needed it again to make a point about GENDER CONFUSION. No, I’m not talking about the kind that emerges in the teen years and involves black eyeliner or Birkenstocks. This gender confusion starts right after birth.

As family folklore goes, when Randy the perfekt husband was a baby he was so pretty that everyone kept thinking he was a GIRL! This was very troubling to his parents.

I know many parents who have experienced the same thing. They’re shopping in Target, newborn snuggled in his carrier. Then some well-meaning Grandma type comes up and says “Oh, what a pretty little girl!”

CRINGE! Now it’s an embarrassing situation for all. For mommy who has to correct Granny. For Granny who is mortified at her mistake. And for Daddy most of all, who DOES NOT appreciate that his son, a chip off the old block, has been mistaken for a human of the XX chromosome persuasion. Uh, not that there’s anything wrong with that. 

It’s all pretty ridiculous really… because when babies come out, they’re squished-up, wrinkled, double-fisted, squinchy-eyed little blobs. It’s hard to tell they’re human, let alone what gender category they fall into. I mean, we parents probably wouldn’t even be able to tell the difference if it weren’t written on the birth certificate… oh and for the 10,000 diapers we change that first year.

Still, as cool and unaffected as we parents want to come off about such things, we compensate. How? CLOTHING and ACCESSORIES!

Yep. You’ve seen it. Heck, you’ve probably DONE IT! You put girls in pink. With bunnies or butterflies on their onesies. Stick a bow in their hair (as pictured). And if the girl doesn’t have hair yet? Well, you’ve seen those BANDS that go around the baby’s head with a bow attached. You know some smart mommy invented that bald baby hair band after recognizing an insecurity in the market.

As for boys. We put them in blue or green. Stripes or better yet, images of soccer balls, footballs, TRUCKS! The bigger the trucks the better.  Best if it’s the kind of truck that digs dirt or demolishes something. And for safety, make sure that the little hanging toy on the handle of his carrier features a logo of daddy’s favorite college sports team. When baby reaches for it, if they’re even to that point yet, it lights up and plays marching band music. So what it startles the baby into a crying jag? At least dad won’t be startled by anyone calling his son a girl.

Oh yes, this gender distinguishing clothing is a BILLION DOLLAR INDUSTRY. And there’s a reason for it!

PARENT EMBARRASSMENT AT GENDER CONFUSION. Heck, I’ll bet there’s even a chapter on it in advertising school.

 

So my question is…

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MAKE SURE YOUR KID WASN’T MISTAKEN FOR THE OPPOSITE SEX? OR ARE YOU ONE OF THOSE PARENTS THAT TRULY ISN’T UPTIGHT ABOUT IT?

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