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Alltop, confirmation that I kick ass


Author: toni

~ 09/25/09

An Indonesian woman gave birth to a 19.2-pound baby boy! He’s pictured below next to an average size baby.

 

19.2 pounds! This super-sizing trend has gone too far! That’s like me giving birth to almost 3 Julia’s! Which is hard to imagine since one of them almost did me in.  

I certainly can’t imagine what this woman went through in the birthing room but a dozen lousy roses and some cheap chocolates is not gonna cut it. Her husband better have given her something from Tiffany’s. Or whatever Sumatra’s equivalent of Tiffany’s is. I mean, that episiotomy had to go half way up her back!

And can you imagine what breastfeeding time is going to be like? I doubt plugged ducts are gonna be a problem. That kid’s gonna suck her like a Hoover on a carpet. She’s going to be lucky if she doesn’t have to supplement. And if she does, OUCH! I don’t want to see that formula bill. And diapers! I’m hoping they have a Costco there and that they have diapers that come in baby sumo wrestler size.

On the plus side, next time she gives birth she can probably do it Monty Python style. Standing at a stove stirring porridge while the baby drops out from under her sarong.

Unfortunately, she’s got to return all those cute 0-3 months sized onsies she got at her baby shower. Rats!

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