We recently bought a new family car. American if you must know. The first time in, well, ever. We’ve always been Honda and Toyota folk. I also had a VW Bug in college. Red. Cherry. Nice.
But Randy the perfekt husband felt very strongly that we should “Buy American”. You know, what with everything that’s gone down the last few years. Also, the car we bought got fabulous reviews. Better gas mileage and safety ratings than the new version of the Honda we currently own. And we’d read that the American car companies were really stepping it up to compete. Soooo… we took the plunge.
Well, within 3 weeks, the car developed a SQUEAK in the back. With all the driving Randy does, it was driving him crazy. Soooo… our new American car had to go into the shop. After a full day of researching, they found the problem.
The Service Guy called and told me that the problem was in the back cargo door.
SERVICE GUY: We put a shim in to keep the door from banging.
So when Randy got home from work that night and he and Julia (our 9 year-old) and I were hanging out, I explained to him all about the shim.
JULIA: What’s a shim?
ME: It’s something they wedge tightly in between two things to keep them from banging.
We weren’t thrilled about this development in our brand new car, but that’s not the point of the story.
So the next day is Saturday. And Saturday is usually our sleep-in day. But sometimes, when the house is quiet and all creatures are sleeping (and by creatures I mean Julia) Randy and I take the opportunity to “spend some MUCH NEEDED quality time together”. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge, say no more.
So I snuggle up next to him. He puts his arm around me. We smooch, ignoring each other’s morning breath knowing that the clock is ticking and getting up to brush our teeth will only eat away at precious minutes.
We lock in an amorous embrace when SUDDENLY… pad! pad! pad! That well-known sound of little feet approaching.
Randy and I share a final lingering look (you know, the same one Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio shared right before the Titanic hit the ice cold water and sucked them down into the dark depths) bracing ourselves for the inevitable onslaught of skinny arms, legs and elbows.
And sure enough, we bounced in the air as 62 pounds of 9 year-old hit the bed, crawled over top of me like I was nothing more than a bump in the road, and WEDGED herself right in the middle of her father and me.
RANDY: (groaning) OOmph! Ow!
ME: Excuse me! What do you think you’re doing all wedged in there?
And here’s what she said. I kid you not.
JULIA: (sporting a big grin) I’m the shim that keeps you and dad from banging!
Randy and I looked at each other. No truer words were ever spoken. Sigh.
Maybe next Saturday. Or when she goes off to college…