I know the dog lovers out there are going jump all down my throat. And you know what? I DON’T CARE! Know why? Because I am mortified by the stories I read again and again and again about kids being mauled and even killed by the family dog which is almost always, you guessed it, A PIT BULL!

I mean in the last 24 hours alone there have been two stories about this.

The 4 year-old daughter of one of the loggers on The History Channel’s reality TV show “AX MEN” (about the logging industry) was killed by the family pit bull.

Then today, another 4 year-old girl was hospitalized in Pomona, California in serious condition after her uncle’s pit bull mauled her face. She’s not dead, but is probably disfigured for life.

THIS HAPPENS TOO OFTEN WITH THESE DOGS! 

I was in a local antique mall some time back and the owner’s young son was there with a full arm cast on a school day. I asked what happened. Turns out he was playing in the front yard of his home when the neighbor’s pit bull came up and, unprovoked, started ripping at his arm. He almost lost the arm and had several surgeries to save it.

A PIT BULL, DOING WHAT IT WAS BRED TO DO

So, what the heck is up with pit bulls?

Says Katherine Houpt, director of the Animal Behavior Clinic at Cornell and author of Domestic Animal Behavior: “Different breeds have genetic predispositions to certain kinds of behavior, though that can be influenced by how they are raised. The pit bull is an innately aggressive breed, often owned by someone who wants an aggressive dog, so they’re going to encourage it.”

So there you have it. Pit bulls are bred to be aggressive. People who own them WANT an aggressive dog and even encourage it, thus making them more aggressive.

Hey, fine. You want an aggressive animal in your house, that’s your business. So long as you keep it away from everyone else.  And that includes YOUR CHILD!

I bet a lot of these pit bull owners are the same folks that say it’s safe to have a gun in the house with a child. There, now I’ve ticked off gun owners too. But that’s how I feel! Ooo, I get so angry.

Know what I think? Well, you’re going to hear it anyway.

Just as there are agencies in place to protect children from abusive parents, there should be similar protections/laws when it comes to pit bulls in the house with children. Because statistically, most dog attacks involve children. Maybe it’s to do with their prey-like size or their uncensored behavior.  Whatever.

IF YOU’VE GOT A KID, IT SHOULD BE AGAINST THE LAW TO HAVE A PITBULL!

“Oh, but my dog is soooo sweet. It’s a family pet, it never hurt anyone!”

Yeah. Famous last words. Probably exactly what the guy from Ax Men said about HIS dog… right before it killed his innocent, little girl.

And now the dog is going to get put down for something it was bred and trained to do.

Shame.

 Today we’re combining our BAD MOMS IN MOVIES feature with MOVIE MATH.

In MOVIE MATH we review a movie and see if it adds up to family fun.

Our BAD MOMS IN MOVIES feature helps us feel better about our not-so-perfect parenting skills by observing the bad parenting of others in movies.

Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightening Thief - When it comes to family dysfunction, nobody does it better than the Greek Gods. I mean, they go around coupling with mortals, having all these illegitimate kids whom they pretty much walk out on. That makes for a world full of pretty messed up teenage demi-gods with serious parental abandoment issues. That’s what’s at the core of the first Percy Jackson movie. Without going into too much detail that may result in spoilers - much of what motivates the movie’s characters (PERCY - son of Poseidon, ANNABETH - daughter of Athena, and LUKE - son of Hermes) is their need to prove themselves to and/or get back at their absentee parents. Now is it a good movie? Eh. It played more like a low rent, wanna-be HARRY POTTER. Which is kind of puzzling since the books are supposed to be good (Julia got the set for her B-Day but she hasn’t read them yet) and that it was directed by CHRIS COLUMBUS who directed the first two Potter films. But unlike Harry Potter, this movie was filled with major contrivances, plot holes and inconsistencies. The effects were okay. And some kids will surely find it fun to see kids fighting Hydras and Minotaurs. And the movie DID inspire Julia to learn about the Greek Gods. And I DID feel better about my parenting skills knowing I wasn’t going to abandon my kid to the likes of Medusa or Hades. I mean, let’s face it, the most trauma my kid is likely to suffer is when they’re out of her favorite flavor at the Golden Spoon yogurt place. So hey… it’s worth a look. But go to the matinee and save a few bucks. Or wait for the dvd when you can drink wine while viewing.  

WANNA BE HARRY POTTER ADVENTURE + DISCERNING PARENTS + ULTRA DISCERNING KID = AN OKAY AFTERNOON MATINEE IF YOU DON’T THINK ABOUT THE PLOT TOO MUCH

If you’re a reader of this website, you know that I’m am very outspoken when it comes to abuse of any kind perpetrated against a child. NOT ACCEPTABLE. AT ALL. EVER.

I feel the same way about animals. While most folks think of a pet as their companion or even like a child, there are those who also believe they are property to be done with as they see fit. But really, some things are just wrong.

Like people who dye their pets in funky patterns for their own amusement. And admit it, it’s for your own amusement folks, because your cat does not need nor does it want this. It serves no purpose in their lives nor does it help in their survival. You are doing it simply because you think it’s cool. And also probably because your kids are past the age where you can dress them up in whatever silly get-up makes you happy so you’re taking it out on your pet.

While I can appreciate the artistry (that butterfly face - MEOW!) and the humor (that one with the Chaplin on its rear is a crack-up) I must be judgmental here and put you cat dyers in the same category as the folks out there who do POODLE DOODLES (see older post) . Bad owner. BAAAAD! (Thanks Bruce for sending these in).

From the time our kids are babies, we moms are very careful to teach them lessons about good sportsmanship. We drill into them the importance of playing fair and being gracious, win or lose.

Well, someone’s mamma didn’t get that memo.  And she’s got a daughter who’s a college soccer player for New Mexico.

Here’s an ESPN  video clip of soccer player ELIZABETH LAMBERT from New Mexico who acted atrociously during a recent conference tournament game against BYU.

Unbelievable, right? What does she have to say for herself? Following is her statement. The strikeouts are the subtext courtesy of moi:

“I look at it and I’m like, “I wish I could lie and say That is not me’. I have so much regret at being so stupid. I can’t believe I did that in front of the camerasI think the way the video came out, it did make me look like a monster because, well,  I am. That’s not the type of player I am and if you believe that I have some swamp land I’d like to sell you. I’m not just out there trying to hurt players I’m also trying to kill them. That’s taking away from the beauty of the game. And I would never want to do that not so that I’d get caught or in trouble anyway.”

Then she goes on to complain that it all got so much attention because she’s a female. And that guys aren’t criticized when they get rough.

Waaaaah! Boo hoo! I’m being vilified because I’m a girl!

You’re being vilified, you idiot, because you’re a foul-tempered, cheating, little bully.

What a role model for young girls everywhere. Her parents must be so proud.  And who knows? Maybe they are. She learned this behavior from somewhere.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOUR KID BEHAVED THIS WAY?

It’s that time of year again in INDIA when parents drop their babies off a 50 foot building to ensure health and prosperity.  Yeah, you read it right.

I’m not Indian. And I don’t even pretend to understand their rituals or customs or beliefs. But I’m a mother. And on a primal mommy level…no matter how you cut it…THIS SEEMS WRONG WRONG WRONG!

Check out the fear on those babies faces! They’re not crying because they’re having a good time.

NOTE: I don’t know about you but I don’t see any MOMS at the bottom of that 50 foot drop. Or at the top for that matter. Makes me wonder whose idea this actually is.

IS IT OKAY TO DO THIS TO YOUR KID IF IT’S PART OF CUSTOM/TRADITION?

 Okay. I know Mammakaze normally deals with all issues “mommy”. That includes mommies who behave badly (see the Madlyn Primoff post in April).  But let’s face it. Bad parenting is bad parenting. And when I run across a case, whether it be bad mommies or bad daddies. I’ve got to put it out there.  

So here’s the story of a dad TODD MARCUM (41) in Salem, Oregon who was arrested for putting an electric dog collar on his FOUR KIDS (ages 3, 6, 8 and 9) and SHOCKING them!

Now while I admit I have researched the legalities of had innocent fantasies about implanting a lojack device into the scruff of Julia’s neck when she hits puberty, to date they have only been fantasies. AND these fantasies are bourne out of love and my need for at least 7 hours of worry-free REM sleep a night.

But THIS GUY? ! (heretofore known as BAD DADDY)…he wasn’t even doing this out of some misguided attempt at punishment after time-outs and groundings had failed. No, he wasn’t. WHY was he doing it you ask?  

Bad Daddy did it….are you bracing yourself?  BECAUSE HE THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY!

That’s right. He thought it was funny to push a button and see his kids CRY IN PAIN! as the result of an ELECTRIC SHOCK!

I don’t know the details about Bad Daddy, but what do you want to bet he was sitting in his Barcolounger, well into his second six-pack, with one hand tucked in his pants and the other on the remote button of the YAP-ZAPPER while All Star Wrestling played on his 18″ flatscreen! Then again, maybe he was behind his antique mahogany desk, halfway through a bottle of well-aged scotch, with one hand tucked in his vest pocket and the other on the button of the remote of the YAP-ZAPPER with the stock market banner crawling across the the top of his 52″ flat screen!

Either way. What a frigging A-HOLE! This guy is a FATHER? Some woman had four kids with him? Was she an idiot?! Was she chained to a wall in the basement? 

Hey, BAD DADDY! How about I wrap the shock collar around your family jewels and push the button on the YAP-ZAPPER and see how HILARIOUS that is? You don’t deserve the gift of children!

Holy Freakin’ Moly. Will people never cease to amaze me with the depths of their depravity?    Unfortunately … no.

This whole “incident” brings to mind that scene in the movie PARENTHOOD when Keanu Reeves says to Dianne Wiest, “You know, Mrs. Buckman, you need a license to buy a dog, to drive a car - hell, you even need a license to catch a fish. But they’ll let any %$#!@  asshole be a father.”*

No truer words were ever spoken. Well, except maybe, “DON’T COME ONE INCH CLOSER, BUSTER! I’m ovulating and I WILL NOT go through that breastfeeding nightmare again!”

So anyway, Bad Daddy currently sits in jail charged with four counts of criminal mistreatment, waiting for someone to post his $80,000 bail. Meanwhile the mother has custody of the kids, who are probably scared out of their minds cuz they know when “daddy” gets out…he’s gonna be in a real bad mood!

*I edited the above movie quote because I didn’t know if the term “butt-reaming” would offend the delicate sensibilities of my readers.

I KNOW YOU GUYS HAVE TO HAVE COMMENTS ABOUT THIS GUY! PLEASE SHARE.

SIDE NOTE: A shout-out to Tim, husband of a mommy friend. While you are nowhere close to being in the same league as Bad Daddy above - teaching your preschool age son the “pull my finger and fart” thing - will get you a dishonorable mention.