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Alltop, confirmation that I kick ass


Author: toni

~ 10/07/10

 

I have been sooooo bad about posting lately. Was a time I’d compulsively post everyday, whether I had anything relevant to say or not – which of course I ALWAYS did.

But it’s hard now what with a PAYING WRITING JOB that I am obligated to complete on a timely basis. Oh, and did I mention I have also been working on a tween novel with my writing partner? Don’t be too impressed. It hasn’t been published yet.

Bottom line, I’m feel GUILT! Duh, what a surprise since it’s the second most common emotion I feel  after PASSION – you know, for those tortilla chips sitting in the pantry calling my name.

So as a fun filler, until I can complete the epic post I’m working on about bullies, thieves and cliques in grade school – here’s a little something something.

It’s ALICE COOPER on SESAME STREET! Yep, it’s him singing WELCOME TO MY NIGHTMARE from his first solo album back in the day.

It seemed an appropriate choice given that Halloween is coming and what with the whole Katy Perry/Sesame Street  scandal from last week. 

Only, know what?  No one complained about this! In spite of the fact that it was the introductory song on a album full of songs about prostitution, spousal abuse, necrophilia, serial killing and even a little thing called rape.

Ah, times how they have changed. Enjoy. There are actually two performances by Alice on here, if you’re in the mood.

Alice Cooper singing Welcome to My Nightmare on Sesame Street!

Shout out to MAMMAKAZE Babette for bringing this clip to my attention.

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Author: toni

~ 07/15/10

 

Welcome to movie math where we take a look at a movie and see if it adds up to family fun.  

Disney’s The Sorcerer’s Apprentice (Live Action)

If the goal when you’re forking over the big bucks it costs these days to go to a movie ($40 bucks for 3 people?! What the what the?!) is that your kid comes away happy – then this film fits the bill.

Clearly  hoping to tap into the wizarding frenzy created by the Harry Potter movies as well as to strike the same box office gold they struck by turning their  Pirates of The Caribbean ride into a movie – Disney has based this live-action tale on The Sorcerer’s Apprentice segment of their classic antimated film Fantasia. Don’t know if that’ll help though, since most people don’t even remember it.  Anyway, aside from a little dancing mop sequence that’s out of the original film, this film’s pretty much its own entity.

It’s a story about NYU physics major DAVE (Jay Baruchel) who has no idea that he is a blood descendant of the wizard Merlin until the day his wizard mentor BALTHAZAR (Nicholas Cage) shows up to give him some lessons. Of course it’s not that straightforward because well, then there wouldn’t be drama and that’s booooring. So enter HORVATH (Alfred Molina) who wants to destroy the human world and in order to do that must release the evil MORGANA from a set of nesting dolls in which she has been trapped since around, oh,  760 AD. Did I mention that the love of Balthazar’s life is also trapped in there? Did I also mention that Horvath thinks Dave knows where the nesting dolls are or that he has a wizard sidekick who uses his magical gifts to sell himself as a CRISS ANGEL type magician? No? Well, none of it really matters anyway. Cuz in the end it’s just an excuse for a lot of wild chases, exploding electricity balls, fiery dragons and action that’s more CGI than mystical or magical. Which is where I should mention that this is a Jerry Bruckheimer film.  Yep. ‘Splains a lot, Lucy.

There’s the requisite  romance subplot which, while not very well developed, does serve to  prove to geeky boys that they can still get the pretty girl if they’re super smart and can force Tesla Rays to make music. So if you’re the mom of a boy who can’t catch a baseball to save his life but can  recreate the Parthenon with Legos, this is a good movie for you…and him.  Obviously for girls too because my 8 year-old daughter not only laughed a lot during the film,  she also pronounced as the credits rolled “I’m going to tell all my friends to see this!”  Click to Buy Tickets Now at Fandango.

MINIMAL STORY + COOL SPECIAL EFFECTS = FAIR SUMMERTIME FARE

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Author: toni

~ 06/24/10

Let’s face it. Something happens when we become parents. No, not a greater sense of responsibility… we lose our COOL. Not temper-wise, although that happens too, especially during those “terrible twos” years. I mean cool as in hip, fly, da bomb (I think that’s what I mean anyway. I’m not so good with those slang words).

Yep, once you become a parent gone are the free-stylin’ days when you can stay up until 1 am seeing an Art House movie and sipping a late latte while discussing the meaning of all those weird angles the director used. There’s no more sleeping in on Sunday mornings then rolling out bed whenever you darn well feel like it and heading  (with full-on bed head and maaaaaaaaybe even a little “morning after” glow) to the local trendy breakfast place where they use cheeses from goats on your omelette and put a french press ON YOUR TABLE! Oh yeah baby. Those were the days.

One of the biggest changes. Trading that sporty little two door Accord for a MINI VAN!

Yeah, I have some friends who are still hold-outs. Fearing that they will lose their last drop of cool (I’m talking about you Johanna) they opt instead for the SUV in which to cram their multiple kids. But let’s face it. Those MINIVANS have some serious  allure. Not the least of which is the fact that, because of their sliding doors, you don’t have to worry that your kid’s gonna SWING OPEN the car door into the $50,000 BMW next to you – in which case you either have to leave a note while calculating how much that $12,000 ding is gonna raise your insurance rates OR re-park  REALLY FAST.

Anyway, Toyota has embraced the dorkiness that is parenthood. And they have made a really funny RAP MUSIC VIDEO for their Sienna Mini Van (aka THE SWAGGER WAGON). I thought I’d share it with you because, well, you’ll GET IT.

Thanks MAMMAKAZE Nancy for sending it.

Oh, and Kevin and Janet. Hope you’re paying attention.

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Author: toni

~ 05/20/10

 

Posting will be sporadic for the next few days as I work on the creation of my GREETING CARD SHOP.   

Yep, all that snarky sarcasm you enjoy for free will be available for purchase (at a reasonable price) for you to share with your friends. We’ll have cards on topics like:

 FERTILITY, BREASTFEEDING, FRIENDSHIP, MOMMY GUILT, BAD MARRIAGES/RELATIONSHIPS,

WEIGHT LOSS, BODY IMAGE, etc.

So if you’re looking for Hallmark style cards with cute puppies on the front and sweetsie little  poems inside  this will NOT be the place to come. However, if you’re looking for something with a little edge, a little humor and a lot of sarcasm, Mammakaze will provide. Also in the offing – T-shirts and caps!

Meanwhile, may we suggest you re-read some of our favorite posts. They can be found on the left side under FEATURED POSTS.  Or take the time to browse through CATEGORIES and see what we’ve offered up in the past.  Snark at you soon!

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Author: toni

~ 05/13/10

 

Check out this kid whose talent show performance is a web sensation.

Wowsa. Can anyone say INNATE TALENT?  Only three years of piano lessons and no singing lessons.

GREYSON MICHAEL CHANCE performs Lady Gaga’s “Paparazzi”

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Author: toni

~ 05/06/10

 

Still haven’t figured out what to get the mom in your life for Mother’s Day? Well, get on the ball, why don’t you? It’s this Sunday!

Meanwhile, why don’t you send out a “personalized” video. Yes, the folks at MomsRising.org (a worthwhile organization by the way) and CNNBC, who were behind the personalized Mother of the Year videos last year, have created another REALLY COOL video in time for Mother’s Day.

Here’s what you do:

CLICK ON THIS LINK.  It will take you to their website (you can see a sample video).

Type in the Name and E-Mail Address of the Mom(s) of Your Choice

They will then forward a personalized video featuring that mom’s name.

 

It’s very funny and fun.  And the moms in your life will LOVE IT!

But DON’T think it’ll replace flowers or jewelry or a spa weekend. I mean come on! Get it together people. Let’s see some effort here!

Oh. And have a lovely Mother’s Day.

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