MAMMAKAZE reader and neighbor Kory posted a very thoughtful and rational response to my emotional rant about Pit Bulls co-existing with small children.  Since not everyone reads the COMMENTS, I felt compelled to post it to give the other POV equal time.  See what you think:

Toni,

I am rarely moved to comment by your posts, as I’m usually too busy laughing. Today though, I feel I must refute. As a previous owner of two American Staffordshire Terriers (Pit Bulls), it always piques my interest when I see them portrayed as monstrous threats to children / society by the media. I will address some of the points in your post, but first let me offer a different perspective on the “dreaded” Pit Bull.

My last Am-staff was part of my children’s’ lives since they were born. He was an incredibly docile and loving dog with both family and friends. Approaching strangers, adults and children, were always greeted by a wagging tail and a fat tongue. If our interest had been in owning an intimidating killer (it was actually to rescue a puppy from being euthanized), we had failed miserably. His tolerance level for being ridden and having his tail and ears pulled constantly by our two curious toddlers was impressive. Never so much as a growl was heard from him - a real trooper. This was his demeanor throughout his entire life. Even as he became almost completely blind in his last years, when a growl or snap from disorientation would have been justified, nothing but a wag of the tail. Years after his death, both of my kids continue to talk about him - my youngest asking when he’s coming back. His memory still evokes tears, especially from my daughter to whom he was a companion for most of her life.
This was my Pit Bull experience, but of course this is only one dog and all dogs are different. I am not naive to the fact that dogs of many breeds are vicious and that they do attack people and children. My problem is vilifying an entire breed based on individual incidents, the details of which rarely ever come out. Details like how the dog was raised or treated. Was it socialized or isolated? These things make a difference FOR ALL BREEDS.

Now to your post…
You stated that the daughter of an actor on “Ax Men” was killed by the family Pit Bull. The fact is that the dog involved was actually a Rottweiler. This doesn’t change the fact that there are dangerous dogs in the world, but the jump to associate any dog attack with a Pit Bull is part of what fuels what I believe is unwarranted prejudice against this breed. Another is posting pictures of Pit Bulls barking, yet another way to make them look vicious, but not at all a representation of their overall demeanor.

You referenced a quote from Katherine Houpt that I think makes a great point: That there are SOME people who own Pit Bulls (and many other breeds) for the sole purpose of encouraging aggressive behavior. So? This is hardly an argument for outlawing the breed (though it may be an argument for banning “machismo”). Just because some people choose to raise their animals a particular way (or abuse them), why exactly can’t my family save one of these beautiful animals and give them love and a good life? German Shepherds are trained by the Police to attack human beings on command… and also make great family dogs. You might as well outlaw any animal that has the potential of hurting a child, which is a lot. You then made the leap from a quote about SOME people encouraging aggressive dogs, to concluding that “pit bulls are bred to be aggressive,” and that “people who own them WANT an aggressive dog.” The implication is that the only reason someone would want this dog would be to have an aggressive pet. That’s a big stretch. Is there no scenario where this dog might actually be a PREFERRED family pet? Oh wait… there is.

Upon deeper research, you might have found that in fact American Staffordshire Terriers score extremely high on temperament tests compared to other dogs (http://www.atts.org/statistics.html), and in fact a make very good (and safe) companions for children. Did you know that this breed was nicknamed “The Nanny Dog,” because if its protective and gentle nature with children? There are endless websites that support these claims. For example, Wikipedia says this about the temperament of the American Staffordshire Terrier:

“The American Temperament Test Society conducts tests every year on thousands of dogs to determine the soundness of their temperament. The American Staffordshire Terrier routinely ranks well above many “popular” breeds such as the Beagle, Collie, Doberman Pinscher and the Cocker Spaniel.[5] This is a very intelligent, human-oriented, active dog and an affectionate family pet. Over the past 50 years, careful breeding has produced this friendly, trustworthy dog who is an especially good dog for children. One of the characteristics that most owners and breeders talked and look for particular in this breed is gameness. Gameness refers to perseverance, spirited, readiness of a dog to accomplish a given task.”

Finally, this is an intelligent, loyal, and beautiful animal that under the guidance of an unscrupulous owner can be dangerous. This can be said for countless breeds. My life and my children’s lives have benefited greatly from owning this breed of dog. Perhaps a better claim to be made of your post is that people with kids shouldn’t encourage their dogs to be aggressive, regardless of breed. That seems a bit more on target. If you want to outlaw something that kills a statistically significant amount of kids every year, start with backyard pools.

All the best,

Your friend, neighbor, and former “pit” owner.
Kory

First of all, I stand corrected. The article I read said the dog that killed the girl was a pit bull. Further investigation and later articles revealed it was a rottweiler. Although the other attacks I referred to were pit bulls.

As for Kory’s comments… Very good points, all. And true, it isn’t fair to lump all pit bulls in with the ones who have attacked children.

However, my question as a parent remains:

Is it worth the risk to have these potentially aggressive dogs around your small child?  WHAT DO YOU THINK?

Oh and Kory,  don’t get me started on those backyard pools. No matter how secure people think they are, every summer here in So Cal, there are mutliple drownings. Parents SWEAR they thought the gate was locked or that the kid was RIGHT THERE a minute ago…But that is for another rant.

Okay, first of all, I didn’t even know that you could go to rehab for anxiety. Second of all, uh, SIGN ME UP!

Seriously though. Rehab? For anxiety? How is that even a thing? Don’t we all have anxiety? Especially us women? Especially us women who are moms who are trying to do way too much and feeling way too guilty that we aren’t able to be super human and be every place all the time and may, therefore, be failing our children?  

Reality check. Anxiety comes with that little territory known as life. I know plenty of moms who suffer from it.  But you know what? We don’t go into rehab. Know why? We don’t have nannies and housekeepers to take care of our homes and kids and jobs while we’re finger painting and talking about our feelings to a person highly paid to listen.

Not like Chynna Phillips, she of Wilson Phillips fame. She who is married to actor Billy Baldwin. I’m not saying she can’t get stressed out like the rest of us. I’m sure she has her issues. I mean,  it couldn’t have been easy to hear that her dad was carrying on an incestuous relationship with her half sister MacKenzie Phillips for 10 years. Heck, maybe that news brought up all kinds of terrible memories from her own childhood in relation to her dad. In which case, get the help you need Chynna!

Then again, maybe Chynna’s just fed up with the other-focus of motherhood. I mean, when you’ve been a pop star and the center of attention for so long, it’s hard to then realize you’re over forty, your best bikini years behind you, and that you’ve spent the last few years of your life focusing on everyone else but yourself.  Also, she’s 42 so it’s likely that whole perimenopause thing has started rearing it’s ugly head. And there’s nothing like a two week period to make a gal really, really cranky.

The point is that most of us regular moms don’t have the luxury of checking out from our lives for a few weeks to deal with our anxiety.

No, we make due with our limited resources. Instead of finger painting and talking to paid professionals, we set up a table where our kids can fingerpaint while we talk about our feelings to our mommy friends who do listen for FREE. And I don’t know about you, but my girlfriends are some of the best listeners and therapists on the planet. They’ve gotten me through some pretty rough times.

Yep. There’s nothing like a good girlfriend to take the edge off the anxiety. Also, sometimes, margaritas and meds don’t hurt.  And the best part of it all, no deductibles.

Poor Chynna. Maybe she doesn’t have the kind of girlfriends I have.  Which just goes to show you that even people who seem to have everything, don’t always.

My girlfriend Terena gave me this for my B-Day. It says it all.

Available at www.TraylorPapers.com

In what was more of a hushed tone than a roar, Tiger finally made his MEA CULPA to the public, his sponsors and his wife and family.

Here’s what he said:

“BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH.”

Oh, pardon me. Actually, that’s not what he said. It’s what I heard. Know why? Because it all smelled of contrived, overly prepared, self-serving bull$#@! written by high paid handlers and spin doctors who are trying to repair an image and career that’s all about, you guessed it, $$$$$.

I mean, is any woman out there buying this whole sex addiction baloney? It’s the new excuse of the rich and famous for bad behavior. Nobody takes responsibility for just being a thoughtless human being anymore. No, it’s not poor judgement! It’s an addiction. Poor baby.

Well this is one MAMMAKAZE who ain’t buying it. Well, I do buy that he’s sorry…that he got caught. And you know what, none of this would have been a big deal if he wasn’t using his family to sell his image and make money. But he did. His mistake.

If you’re a reader of this website, you know that I’m am very outspoken when it comes to abuse of any kind perpetrated against a child. NOT ACCEPTABLE. AT ALL. EVER.

I feel the same way about animals. While most folks think of a pet as their companion or even like a child, there are those who also believe they are property to be done with as they see fit. But really, some things are just wrong.

Like people who dye their pets in funky patterns for their own amusement. And admit it, it’s for your own amusement folks, because your cat does not need nor does it want this. It serves no purpose in their lives nor does it help in their survival. You are doing it simply because you think it’s cool. And also probably because your kids are past the age where you can dress them up in whatever silly get-up makes you happy so you’re taking it out on your pet.

While I can appreciate the artistry (that butterfly face - MEOW!) and the humor (that one with the Chaplin on its rear is a crack-up) I must be judgmental here and put you cat dyers in the same category as the folks out there who do POODLE DOODLES (see older post) . Bad owner. BAAAAD! (Thanks Bruce for sending these in).

You may have heard that Doug Fieger, singer and songwriter for THE KNACK, died Feb. 14 at age 57 at his home in Woodland Hills, CA of lung cancer.  Even if you weren’t around in 1979 you’re probably familiar with the monster #1 ditty Fieger sang and wrote called “My Sharona.” Yeah, I don’t know what it means either, but it was a cool song.

So what does this have to do with skin cancer? Well, I recently had a bit of skin cancer removed from my lower abdomen. A little growth that has been there for FOUR YEARS! because instead of going to a dermatologist as I should have, I asked my gynecologist about it. I mean, I figured since it was C-section adjacent, he was the doc to see, right?  WRONG! My GYN said it was nothing. Well, guess what? It was something! And lucky for me, it was only a basal cell carcinoma which is a slow-growing, easy to cut off cancer that doesn’t get into your system and not a melanoma which can kill you and which recently ended the life of a good friend of my brother RICHARD. The young man was only 29.

Winona Ryder for skin cancer awareness

I know, you’re still wondering what this has to do with The Knack. Well, since Feiger died of cancer and I had Basal Cell Carcinoma which rhymes with My Sharona, well… naturally, I had to retool the lyrics to the Knack’s classic song to get across my point to…

CHECK YOUR SKIN REGULARLY FOR ANY ABNORMALITIES!

Or better yet, have a dermatologist take a look. If like me you grew up in the sun worshipping era where one used Coppertone instead of Banana Boat, it’s important that you know that sun damage is cumulative. And what you did to your skin as a kid can come back with a vengeance in adulthood.

So… to help encourage you to check your skin… and as an homage to Doug Fieger who wrote a really cool song and who passed at way too young an age… may I present…

BASAL CELL CARCINOMA

(sung to the tune of MY SHARONA)

Ooh my little ugly one, ugly one.
You creepy li’l basal cell carcinoma
Ooh you best go on the run, too much sun,
Gonna be comin’ off carcinoma
Never gonna stop, cut you off
Such unhealthy thing.. Always lop you off, sew it up
So I’m clean again. My my my i yi woo. B-B-Basal Cell Carcinoma

 
When you getting too much sun, too much sun
Just a matter of time for a carcinoma
Is it destiny, or a lack of the sunny screen
Really glad it wasn’t a melanoma
Never gonna stop, cut you off
Such unhealthy thing.. Always lop you off, sew it up
So I’m clean again. My my my i yi woo. B-B-Basal Cell Carcinoma

And if the brilliance of my Weird Al-esque turn or Winona Ryder in the near buff doesn’t send you running to the dermatologist, think of your kids. I know that will do it.

For more info on skin cancer, check out the following websites.

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/skin-cancer/DS00190/DSECTION=symptoms

www.CancerResearch.org 

Well, the party took place last Saturday. I haven’t posted since then because it has taken me that long to recuperate from the weekend. But in my defense, we had out-of-town guests and the partying went on through Sunday as it was my birthday that day.

We’ll start with the decorations. Our garage was turned into the Grand Hall of Hogwarts. I don’t know how “grand” it was given its low ceiling. But it did look cool. Thanks to hours of help from fellow MAMMAKAZES - Zadrina and Angelica. Thank you both so much. I couldn’t have done it without you. Plus you made me help Randy the Perfekt husband realize that I’m not the only mom who gets into these things.

We set up 4 tables, one for each house and hung house flags over them. We used fishing line so that the flags looked like they were magically hanging. We did the same for the candles (thanks Z for figuring that out). We hung white Christmas lights for ambiance.

Upon entering through red curtains we used to separate the house area from the garage, the kids were met with the Ollivanders table. This is where they selected their wands… or rather, their wands selected them.

Notice the dry ice in the cauldron. Nice touch Uncle John. Also, I downloaded a photo of The Fat Lady and framed her in one of my frames.

I bought the cake from Costco (an excellent cake for the price) and had the edible art made at a local cake shop from a picture I had of Julia as Hermione at Halloween. I added the words on my computer.

In addition to keeping their wands and the prizes they won from the Cauldron of prizes, the kids also got goodie bags filled with Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans, the Hogwarts School of Magic Pens and Harry Potter stickers.

Also, though it’s not visible in these pictures, we had a sound system set up in one corner for music and microphones. You need a mike when trying to talk above 25 kids and countless adults! And the front of the hall had a white screen upon which was projected Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (Julia’s favorite of the films). And we also used it for the game of Harry Potter Scene It, which was one of the competitions between the houses.

CONTINUE TO NEXT POST FOR THE COSTUME PICS!