Welcome to MOVIE MATH! Where we review our movie-going experience and see if it ADDS UP to FAMILY FUN!

LAND OF THE LOST – a tragic thing happened on the way to see UP the other day. It  was SOLD OUT and we bought tickets to LAND OF THE LOST instead. Now, I remember this show from when I was a kid. They had it in reruns after school. Back then Rick, Will and Holly were a dad and his two kids who happened upon a land where detritus from all times and places ended up. I hated it then. And lemme tell you, I WAS NOT a fan now. This updated version has WILL FERRELL doing his usual bumbling self-humiliation for the camera. I mean, is there a Ferrell movie where we DON’T see his pot belly hanging over his underwear? HOLLY is now a hot, young scientist who somehow ends up in hot pants during the course of the adventure. And WILL is a scamming loser who actually turns out to be the brains of the bunch. What hasn’t changed? The cheesy effects and really lame plot. Even though this movie is supposed to have cost a fortune (over $100,000,000 dollars!) the Sleestaks still look like guys in stupid rubber suits. That didn’t stop Julia from being scared of them. Although I don’t know why. Every time they took a step, the suits wobbled. Okay, there WAS one funny sequence where Rick, Will and Cha-Ka the monkey boy, all get high on some fruit of a tree and have a male bonding experience. But other than that, the humor was too raunchy for little ones and too stupid for big ones. Although Randy the perfekt husband thought it was funny in a really surreal, freaky way. Julia’s gonna mention THIS movie in therapy years from now.

DUMB HUMOR + EVEN DUMBER PLOT AND EFFECTS + TOO MUCH RAUNCH = DON’T WASTE YOUR MONEY