My mommy friend TERENA and I share a common fear. No, not running out of chardonnay during Friday Fun. That our flawless, lovely daughters will one day come home sporting flesh-disfiguring tattoos. Not an unreasonable fear you say? Well, did I mention the girls are only 7 and 9? Okay, the fear might be a little premature. I mean, in the vast world of things for moms to worry about, tattoos are down the road a few years.

I know, we should be worrying about things like stranger danger, riding without helmets, playground bullies, Alpha girls, and how to make them understand that REAL WOMEN DO NOT look like either Giselle Bundchen OR a Bratz doll.

Still, when Terena called to alert me to the story of the BELGIAN TEEN (pictured RIGHT) who went in to have a COUPLE OF STARS tattooed to her face and came out with OVER 50! Well, it fed into that primal mommy “how dare you alter the beautiful skin I gave you” fear.

Look. I’m not a prude. I understand about wanting to express individuality. And my tattoo phobia really only came into existence a couple of years back after I saw a GRANDMA in the MALL PLAY AREA. She must have been in her 70s but she was covered in tattoos, no doubt relics from her WILD BUNCH biker days in the 1950s. Well, those tats may have been cool then on firm, young skin. Now…lets just say that “rose and heart” inked onto her left breast area resembled something from a Salvador Dali painting.

So seeing this BELGIAN TEEN reminded me of that Grandma. The Teen says she fell asleep while getting the tattoos and when she woke up she was SHOCKED to find all those stars. The TATTOO ARTIST says he gave her what she asked for.

This all smells fishy to me. First of all, how does someone sleep through being tattooed? My guess is:

1) The kid was drunk or high off her ass so she slept through it while the artist went to town OR

2) She DID ask for all the stars and then had MAJOR regrets afterwards and she is now blaming (and SUING) the TATTOO ARTIST in the hopes of getting the THOUSANDS it’ll cost to remove this facial constellation.

In any case, seems like everyone involved in this is unhappy…especially, I’m suspecting, one Belgian mamma.

I don’t know what the laws are in Belgium for underage tattooing. I suspect they are more lenient abroad. Look at Amsterdam and the hash bars, right?

But come to think of it. I don’t know what the laws are here. I suspect if a teen wanted a tattoo, she could find someone to do the job. I just hope if/when Julia gets talked into getting a tat by EUTHANASIA, the highly-inked, high school drop-out boyfriend that is my nightmare of things to come, it’s ONLY STARS and not something like THIS:

 

 

OR THIS:

 

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT YOUR KID GETTING A TATTOO OR A PIERCING?  YES OR HELL NO… NOT WHILE YOU’RE UNDER MY ROOF!