TOP TEN GOOD THINGS ABOUT VACATION  

1. No alarm clocks.
2. No deadlines.
3. No news about MICHAEL JACKSON or that CRAZY GUY in North Korea.
4. No calorie counting. WOO-HOO.
5. No shirt, no shoes, no prob.
6. No complaining “I’m bored”.
7. Margaritas BEFORE noon. (Yeah, you read that right)
8. Torrrrrrrrtilla chips!
9. Bras, optional.
10. Exhausted KID with dirty feet who falls instantly into a deep sleep… with a grin on her face.

TOP 10 BAD THINGS ABOUT VACATION

1. Public restrooms.
2. Lines.
3. Lines at public restrooms.
4. No calorie counting.  GULP.
5. Good reception on Randy the perfekt husband’s Blackberry.
6. Dads, fireworks, testosterone…’nuff said.
7. Constant complaining, “Are we there yet?”
8. Drunken, boisterous, hard-bodied COLLEGE STUDENTS in the river raft next to yours.
9. The fact that your drunken, boisterous, hard-bodied days are FAR behind you. Sigh.
10. Exhausted KID with dirty feet saying GOODBYE to Grandma, Grandpa, Aunts, Uncles and Cousins until Christmas… with tears in her eyes.