Just so’s ya know. We at Mammakaze aren’t always completely jaded and snarky. We are occasionally moved by things. We have been known to choke up at the ending of ET and TERMS OF ENDEARMENT and okay, those fabric softener commercials with the cute baby in the pile of soft towels (but only when my biological clock was ticking like Big Ben). We shed a tear when we watch our kid do a Buffalo or an Irish up on a stage. And a certain Pablo Neruda poem stirs us to our core.

 

A similar thing happened when my friend Carole recently sent me a chain letter. It included this poem that was attributed to Maya Angelou. I thought it was pretty insightful and worth posting on MAMMAKAZE. So I looked it up. A little snooping on Snopes.com revealed that it was NOT written by Maya Angelou but was originally an article for Glamour Magazine written by PAMELA REDMOND SATRAN. Pulitizer Prize winning author, beauty magazine columnist. Whatever.  I’ll take my good advice wherever I can get it.  

Granted some of us mommies are PAST some of the advice in this poem.  Not just because we’re past 30, but because we’ve been there, done that…and probably made some mistakes and wished we’d HAD this list then. Other parts are universal, no matter what phase of your life you are in. Even if it doesn’t pertain to you, we have daughters and sisters and friends who could benefit from this. So feel free to share.

 

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …

enough money within her control to move out
and rent a place of her own,
even if she never wants to or needs to…
something perfect to wear if the employer,
or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour…

a youth she’s content to leave behind….
a past juicy enough that she’s looking forward to
retelling it in her old age….
a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra…
one friend who always makes her laugh… and one who lets her cry…

a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family….
eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems,
and a recipe for a meal,
that will make her guests feel honored…

a feeling of control over her destiny…
how to fall in love without losing herself…

 

WHAT EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…

how to quit a job,
break up with a lover,
and confront a friend without
ruining the friendship….

when to try harder… and WHEN TO WALK AWAY…

that she can’t change the length of her calves,
the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..
that her childhood may not have been perfect…but it’s over…

what she would and wouldn’t do for love or more…
how to live alone… even if she doesn’t like it…

whom she can trust,
whom she can’t,
and why she shouldn’t take it personally…

where to go…
be it to her best friend’s kitchen table..
or a charming Inn in the woods…
when her soul needs soothing…

What she can and can’t accomplish in a day…
a month…and a year…

 

Amen, sister. And thanks to my good friends Jennie, Terena and Dianne who helped me immensely during my recent health crisis. Thanks goodness I had you to turn to… That’s one thing I KNEW. That I could count on you.