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Alltop, confirmation that I kick ass

Author: toni

~ 08/25/09

I learned a new term recently. I love that about life. You go along. Think you’ve heard or seen it all. And BLAMO! You learn something new.

I was at my daughter’s dance class. It was parent observation day. The mommies were all standing outside in the hallway where they could see their daughters through a large glass window practice their shuffle-hop-turns. 

Close quarters. 15 or so moms standing around. An hour and a half to “observe”.  The perfect opportunity to gossip or for “overhearing” gossip.

As I pretended to be fully focused on my kid and her “buffalo” this is the conversation I pretended not to overhear.


MOM #1: I couldn’t believe it! I had been running around since 6 am. Three lunches to make. Three kids to get to school. I volunteered in 2 classes. I had one pediatrician appointment. We had soccer right after school. Then I had to rush over and drop my daughter off at her gymnastics class. Run back to pick up my kid from soccer. Stop at the grocery store to get stuff for dinner. Rushed home, made dinner, did homework, baths and bedtime. Then I get to bed totally wrecked and my husband has the nerve to ask me for sex!


MOM #2: What’d you do?


MOM #1: Gave it to him. Duty booty.


I watched as Mom #2 nodded knowingly. And I could tell she too, knew only too well of “duty booty”.  I looked around the crowded hallyway and was sure everyone in there had heard the term but me! Why hadn’t I heard of it before? I HATE being out of the loop!

But if I’m honest. I know it too. Maybe not the term itself. But certainly the sentiment.

Admit it. You do too!

You know, those days when you’ve been running all day, not a moment to yourself. Maybe you’re juggling work or kids’ schedules or both. All you can think of is that big, soft bed complete with the too many pillows your husband always complains about…down comforter and fresh sheets you put on this morning. The kids are finally asleep, you crawl in, so exhausted you forgot to take off your mascara. What the hell. The sheets are white. They can be bleached. Ain’t NO WAY you’re getting out of that comfy position. You settle in ….AHHHHH. And suddenly…


You try to ignore it. Pretend it didn’t happen.


Crap! You breathe REALLY deeply to try to feign sleep.

NUDGE. NUDGE. NUDGE. Followed by a very warm hand on your thigh.


You hesitate for a moment. Quickly calculating when the last time was that you, you know, “DID IT”.  Because if it’s not been THAT long it’s totally reasonable to play the “I’M TOO TIRED” card. (No one says “I have a headache anymore.” Too cliche. Husbands don’t buy it. Tired, they buy. Because they’ve seen the baggage you’re carrying under your eyes. Plus you frequently remind them.)

So you’re rapidly doing the figuring in your head. “Let’s see, was it Friday? No. That’s the night BOBBY had a bad dream and ended up in our bed. The week before? No. Hubby had to work late every night. I KNOW! It was the day SUZY lost her first tooth.  That was….”

HOLY MOLY! That’s when you realize…. the NEW tooth has already grown in!

Exhausted as you are, you know that while Mommies need their sleep, Daddies have needs too. And really, if you dig down deep, past the sleep deprivation and the jumble of a “to do” list that keeps floating around in your head– you’ll remember that YOU HAVE THOSE NEEDS TOO. You roll over and put a reciprocal hand on his thigh. And there you have…


I don’t know about you, but in the end, I’m always VERY HAPPY that I obliged.

Sleep is sometimes overrated.

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