I guess it was bound to happen. I mean, since Bratz dolls were introduced it’s all been downhill from there.

I remember the halycon days when I objected to Barbies because they depicted women as impossibly blonde, buxom and thin. But then Bratz Dolls came along and showed little girls that they could grow up to be tarty, too.

I mean, the collagen-filled lips, the slutty clothes, and don’t get me started on the FEET THAT COME OFF! I mean, who had the idea to change FEET instead of SHOES? I think it was the guy from the SAW movies. Freaky!

Suddenly Barbie seemed harmless to me. At least Barbie comes as a vet and a pediatrician even if she does have the breast-to-waist ratio of pyramid. And while her clothes are tight, yes even the doctor coat, she never looks like she should be singing, “Don’t you wish your girlfriend was a freak like me?”

And girls want to dress like them. I’m not talking teenage girls. They’re always going to want to wear lowcut tops to display their breasts. (I mean, when you get something new you want to show it off.) I’m talking about girls for whom boobies are years and a barrel full of hormones away. LITTLE GIRLS. Third graders. Second graders. FIRST GRADERS!

Everyday I see Girls and Tweens wearing belly-baring shirts and micro minis that allow a fleeting glimpse of their undies. I blame Bratz for the fact that my 7 year-old wants to wear lip gloss and DANGLY earrings to school. (And, hell no, I don’t let her). Cuz even though she doesn’t own a Bratz doll (well except for the Geisha Bratz that her aunt gave her) she certainly has SEEN them…on TV, at the toy store, at friends’ houses.

And now, just in case Bratz dolls and the cover of Maxim isn’t enough to mess up a little girl’s self-imagine, someone has thought to introduce THE POLE DANCER DOLL. That’s right. According to the box it “flashes”, it has “music”, it “goes up and down” and “round and round”. Oh, and it’s interesting! (Such descriptive packaging leads me to believe it’s NOT a local product).

 

The fact that she is demurely dressed doesn’t really help me get past the fact that she is teaching little girls TO POLE DANCE!

And while it would be nice for Julia to help put herself through school, I was thinking more along the lines of a part-time job at the college bookstore, not giving lap dances to drunken groomsmen or the Dell Computer guys in town for the hard drive expo.

Of course I might change my mind in 10 years when the economy is still in the crapper and I see the cost of tuition. Til then, I proudly remain a conscientious objector.