So yesterday, Randy the perfekt husband and I took Julia to the 3-D movie CLOUDY WITH THE CHANCE OF MEATBALLS. Saying Julia was excited about seeing this film is putting it mildly. She’s been talking about it since she saw the trailers. Part of the frenzy also had to do with the carefully plotted and highly manipulative campaign by Nickelodeon to repeatedly show MIRANDA COSGROVE’s video of the movie’s theme song “RAINING SUNSHINE” between every episode of Spongebob Squarepants and iCarly.

So, by the time we stood in line to get the tickets, Julia was practically frothing at the mouth whilst singing,” It’s raining Sunshine, All over mankind.” Scintillating lyrics, indeed. But at least it wasn’t PINK singing yet another song about the joys of binge alcohol consumption.

Anyhoo, foreseeing the madness that the movie was going to beget (there was no other family film last weekend and we parents are always desperate in this area) we bought our tickets in the morning for the 2:25 pm show.

After Randy came back from the golf course, we stopped for a quick lunch at the Red Robin and then, realizing it was getting close to showtime, rushed over to the theater.

We arrived at 2 pm. Coincidentally at the same time as a little girl (I’ll call her JANE) formerly of Julia’s dance class, and Jane’s FATHER and her LITTLE SISTER. We exchanged “hellos” as we had our tickets torn and walked down the hall toward the movie theater in step with one another.

We turned the corner to be greeted with the longest line I’ve seen since those pictures of the bread lines during the Great Depression. And that’s when I got depressed as I realized we were WAAAAAY back at the line and were unlikely to get choice seats. Still, believers of the ancient tribal law of yore “first come, first serve”, we took our place at the back of the line and waited to be let in. There were some stragglers who got in line behind us, but I didn’t see Jane and her family anywhere near us in line.

Had they seen the line and given up, opting to trade in their tickets for a later show and better seats, I wondered? Probably.

And then, just as the teenaged pimply faced USHER retracted the rope to let the line in, I spotted them. They were hovering at the front of the theater door.

NO! They couldn’t possibly be doing what I thought they were doing! And then sure enough…. THEY CUT IN LINE!

Once the line started into the theater, I saw Jane’s DAD take her and her sister by the hand and quickly, stealthily, SLITHER his way into the crowd, disappearing into the theater.

And what was worse, Julia saw it too!

JULIA: Hey! How come Jane got to go into the theater before us?

ME: Because her dad is a rude, pushy slimeball who obviously hasn’t heard of that other ancient tribal law of yore… NO CUTSIES!

Okay. I didn’t say that, I just WANTED to say it. Instead, I just took Julia’s hand and we made our way into the theater…when it was our turn, I might add.

And sure enough, the only seats left were front row, corner. And I don’t know about you, but I CAN’T do front row, corner at a movie. Particularly in Michael Bey movies or ones where giant food is going to come out of the screen at me.

 

ME: I’m sorry sweetie. We’ll have to give the tickets back. We can’t stay for the movie.

Julia’s face fell. She was utterly heartbroken in the way that only 7 year-olds who haven’t truly experienced heartbreak can be.

JULIA: But Jane is staying!

 

She pointed and I spotted THEM! Jane, her dad and sister, sitting in the middle seat, in the middle row of the theater. THE PERFECT SEATS. Ill-gotten perfect seats.

Okay. Now I know there are worse things in the world. Seriously, on the scale of travesties and injustices, this is way below say, some woman in Yemen getting stoned to death for speaking up to her husband. Or adoption brokers kidnapping babies from Chinese families to place into western homes for a fee.

And normally, I wouldn’t have made such a big deal out of it.  But the matter was made worse by the fact that we KNEW these people. That Julia had SEEN it happen. And the fact that she was not going to get to see the movie because we did what we were supposed to do.

So what did I do? Well, what would any respectable mom do? I told on them.

Actually, first I turned the whole situation into a life lesson by discussing it with Julia on the way home. I told her how wrong it was. Then I made sure that she undertsood that it wasn’t Jane’s fault, but her Father’s. That it was he who showed poor judgement. And that he was a poor example to his kids. And how she should never do that.

THEN, I told on them. I called Jane’s mom when I got home and told her the whole thing. And said that I didn’t appreciate what her husband did and that it put me in a tough position having to explain it all to Julia.

She thought I was crazy and weird. She didn’t say it in so many words, but I could tell by the tone she took with me which was similar to the tone you’d take with an ax-wielding madman. Very pacifying and like you’re talking to child.

And when I got off the phone I realized I probably hadn’t solved anything. If anything, I created an awkward situation when we see them at the next recital. But you know what, I don’t care. I’m sick of rude people who feel entitled and think they can do anything they want to get their way!

Randy the perfekt husband thinks I shouldn’t be so surprised. He is a cynic who thinks much of the world is like this. AND that in fact, such people often get ahead in life.

He’s probably right. But that doesn’t mean my kid has to be that way. Or that I should keep my mouth shut about it. So, I’ll continue to embarrass the family by yelling at the a-hole who parks in the handicapped spot to get their take-out. Or the nimrod who throws his empty cigarette pack out his window on the street. Or, yes, the dad who cuts in line at the movie theater.

It’s just who I am.

In the end, we took Julia to a later show. She didn’t like the movie. Go figure.

 

WHAT ABOUT YOU? WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE DONE?

 

Note: For a book to help teach your kid (or some adults) a lesson about line fairness click on the following title CUTTING IN LINE ISN’T FAIR   available at Amazon.