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Alltop, confirmation that I kick ass

Author: toni

~ 03/24/10


It seems that no matter how many times I tell Julia to hang up her jacket or put her plate into the sink, she never remembers. So I have to tell her again and again and again. I keep thinking it’s like language where they say a baby has to hear a word 1000 times before they learn it. Except, well, I’m pretty sure I’ve told Julia more than a 1000 times to hang up her jacket. Still, nothin’.

And then the other day I was vacuuming and when I was done I pushed the button on the retractable cord like I have done 1000 times before. And the end of the cord WHACKED my bare ankle, like it has done 1000 times before. And  I thought to myself  “I need to make sure my ankle is clear of that cord when I retract it”, like I have thought 1000 times before but NEVER ACTUALLY REMEMBER TO DO! Despite the reminder bruises that are quite visible.

And this got me to thinking that maybe there are some things WE NEVER LEARN, no matter how many times people or life or retractable cords remind us. And the more I thought, the more I realized, YEP that’s right.

Some things in life aren’t LIVE AND LEARN. They’re more like RINSE AND REPEAT.




  • To get my bare ankles clear of the retractable cord on the vaccuum cleaner while it’s retracting…as stated.
  • To CUT NOT PULL the plastic tag off a piece of clothing.
  • That if I buy chips, I WILL eat them.
  • That if I don’t double tie my Nikes before my run, I WILL have to stop and re-tie them.
  • That if I have coffee at 6pm I will be up at 3am.
  • Not to say anything of importance (or that requires retention) during a Lakers game.
  • To give the deodorant a minute before putting on that dark top.
  • That if it has the name Michael Bay anywhere in the credits I will not only be disappointed, I will likely be confused about what’s going on action-wise AND end up with a pounding headache.
  • That paying for a Pay-Per-View movie that starts after 9 pm is a wasted $4.99.
  • That if it says sulfites on the label, I WILL get a stuffy nose.
  • To let sleeping dogs lie. Especially if the dog is your husband and it’s the weekend.
  • NOT to ask my mother “How are things?”
  • That wishing really, really hard won’t counteract the affect of those appetizers and cocktails on my thighs.


And there you have it. There are probably more, but I don’t remember them at the moment. I DID, however, remember to hang up my jacket.


Is there something you never seem to learn?

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  1. It is actually fairly easy to get children to do things, IF you go about it the right way. If Julia doesn’t clear her plate from the table, the plate stays there and she uses the same plate the next day. If she doesn’t pick up her jacket, it stays where it was dropped, wrinkles and all, until she needs it. If she doesn’t put her dirty clothes in the laundry hamper, the clothes stay where they are and don’t get cleaned. If she doesn’t put her toys away, then you simply push them under the couch or throw them in the garage. Doing this may sound harsh, but this is an important lesson on responsibility and consequences that will not harm a child. However, you must be consistent! Giving in and doing tasks for a child teaches them not only to be lazy, but to not think about consequences. It also teaches them to be prima donnas, because they will expect others to do things for them.

    Comment by bruce — March 24, 2010 @ 12:53 pm

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