You know how there are laws in place that require sex offenders and liquor stores to be situated far away from schools? That law ought to apply to 7-Elevens.

We have a 7-Eleven right down the hill from our local high school. And I go there on occasion as it is my closest source of gas (and I’m not talking about the burrito-inspired kind). Also, I have been known to mosey inside to buy the occasional lottery ticket because, as Randy the perfekt husband says, I have cursed us with lucky numbers. And because we KNOW these numbers by heart, if we DON’T play them and we see them come up in the paper, I fear the end of a marriage or worse… the continuation of a one filled “I told you so’s”. SHUDDER. 

Anyway, as a result of the need for gasoline and out of fear for my marriage, I actually go INTO the 7-Eleven… usually in the mornings.

And the horror that meets my eyes is almost more than I, as a mother, can bare: Teen after teen, standing in line waiting to purchase things like RED BULL, Cheetos, Ho Hos and sometimes even those scary, shriveled up hot dogs that have been rolling around under those heat lamps for what looks to be at least a week.

And this is BREAKFAST! Lest you think they are buying their mountain of munchies for fellow students, think again. Because I often see them breaking open the packaging and stuffing their faces even before they hit the register.

Granted it’s usually teenage boys. But I will occasionally see a teenage girl who clearly has not been influenced by the photoshopped images that are staring at her from the magazine rack beneath the counter. Probably because 7-Eleven cleverly puts them BENEATH the counter instead of at eye level like they do in the grocery stores. The corporate offices of 7-Eleven are obviously aware that to feature Miranda Kerr in a bikini would dissuade the purchase of junk food by teen girls. It wouldn’t stop the guys of course, because guys aren’t turned off by expanding guts…as long as it’s their own. In fact I have known guys, some of whom I dated in my youth, who despite their flabby guts actually believed they stood a chance of scoring with a supermodel if she happened to break down in front of their house. Ha.  

Anyway, I often wonder, as I stand in line to throw away my money to the State Lottery but justify it by convincing myself some of the proceeds go to schools and that I’m saving my marriage…

Do these kids’ moms have ANY idea what they are putting into their bodies before going off to the hallowed halls of learning?

And is it fair to our woefully unpaid educators that their classrooms are filled with hormonally ravaged teens who are either ON a sugar buzz or coming DOWN from one?

I don’t know. Maybe making a law isn’t the answer to everything. It’s like those cities that are trying to ban toys from Happy Meals to prevent childhood obesity. In the end, shouldn’t individuals take responsibility for their own health and the health of their children? I mean, if it starts with parents who put their foot down and REFUSE to take their 4 year-old kids to McDonald’s to begin with, maybe, just maybe, those kids would grow into nutritionally educated teens who opt for OJ, eggs and wheat toast instead of Jolt, Fritos and a churro.

Then again, maybe it’s hopeless. Cuz I remember as a teen, despite all the nutritional heckling I got at home, the first time I had the freedom and my own money to buy whatever the heck I wanted, I went straight for that Buckaroo Basket at Texas Tom’s.  I’m just hoping that saturated fat isn’t cumulative, you know, like sun exposure. And if it is, that my “later in life lust” for edamame has somehow counteracted it.

Meanwhile, I think I’ll start scaring Julia with those videos of what sodas do to the inside of a paper cup. Cuz if sense and logic don’t work with kids, fear’s always viable option.