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Alltop, confirmation that I kick ass

Author: toni

~ 11/20/09


Well, today’s the day! The day that the TWILIGHT sequel NEW MOON opens.

Oh admit it. A LOT of you MAMMAKAZES out there are total TwiHards. Yes, that protracted vampire foreplay lit isn’t just for 14 year-old girls. It’s also for lots of 30-something mommies who fantasize about EDWARD CULLEN sucking their…necks.  I get it. He’s hot. I’m a huge fan of those moody, pasty Brits who are borderline unhygienic. And that whole BAD BOY thing has always been a big appeal for us GOOD GIRLS. And what’s badder than a vampire? Or a cut stud muffin who can turn into a WEREWOLF?  

Yeah. I totally get it.

So in honor of today. And of the MAMMAS (cough, cough, Jennie) I know who pre-bought tickets weeks ago and are hitting the 10 am show (hey, they gotta be home by the time the kiddies get out of school) I present the cocktail of the week – THE VAMPIRE MARTINI.

This was sent in by one of Blunder Then Blender’s Biggest Fans – Carole. Although she admits she doesn’t touch vodka, Carole knows a good cocktail when she sees one. Thanks Carole.

Suck on this one, MAMMAKAZES!



1 ½ oz. Chilled vodka

1 ½ oz. Champagne

¾ oz. Black Raspberry Liqueur


Red food coloring

PREPARATION: Rim a martini glass with sugar dipped in red food color. Pour vodka and half of black raspberry liqueur in martini glass. Top with champagne and pour the remaining black raspberry liqueur over the back of a spoon to make it float.

Courtesy of NocheLatina



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Author: toni

~ 11/06/09


Guess what MAMMAKAZES? You can have your dessert and drink it too!

Yep. That’s what I discovered with this wonderful fall-themed cocktail. It’s a great way to bring to a close a guilt-ridden week.

What do I have to feel guilty about, you ask? Well, the fact that I FINALLY got the H1N1 vaccine for my daughter but my neighbor Jennie’s kids got turned away because they weren’t established patients at the clinic. Crazy, huh?

Also because I put this controversial vaccine into my daughter’s body without also putting it into mine. Not through any fault of my own. It was because they wouldn’t give it to me because I wasn’t high risk enough. But still I feel guilty about it. Even crazier, huh? Well, nobody said guilt was rational.

Anyway, this is why I need a cocktail. And since it’s fall, may I present….



3 ounces of Stoli Persik Peach Vodka
2 spoonfulls of honey
2 splashes of Silk Vanilla Soy Milk
2 dashes of ground cinnamon
Pour the ingredients over ice into a shaker cup. Shake until frothy. Strain into a martini glass.  Garnish with a dash of cinnamon on top of the foam.


Yum, huh?  I can almost taste the guilt dissolving in my mouth.


ENJOY. And remember…don’t feel guilt and drive.

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Author: toni

~ 10/23/09


It’s Fall! Well, actually it’s going to be 90 degrees today in my neck of the woods. But I still proclaim it Fall because I’m feeling Fall-ish. And there are so many Fall-like activities afoot.

And Fall is my absolute FAVORITE! That’s because it features my favorite holiday. Halloween. Not sure why I’m so attracted to it. Probably that undercurrent of a brackish soul that flows beneath my Martha Stewart-esque facade.  Hee Hee.

Anyway, my mommy blunders this week included accidentally letting my daughter overhear part of that Nine Inch Nails song that features the lyrics, ” I want to BLEEP! you like an animal. ” I know, right? But it’s not all my fault. Who knew an adult contemporary rock station would play that? I mean John Mayer and Tori Amos maybe…Oh wait. She’s probably too young for Tori too. What with all that date rape themage.

Okay. I guess it’s back to KIDZ BOP. At least Kidz Bop Gold has some decent oldies. Even if they are sung by low-rent vocal versions of the original singers and constantly punctuated by a chorus of kids shouting “YEAH!” and “WOW!” and “WOO!”.

I think I’m gonna need a cocktail…



2 oz whiskey or apple brandy
1 tsp sugar
hot apple cider
lemon wedge for garnish
cinnamon stick for garnish
2-3 whole cloves for garnish

Coat the bottom of an Irish coffee glass with honey.
Add the whiskey or apple brandy.
Fill with hot apple cider.
Stir well.
Garnish with the lemon, cinnamon stick and cloves.



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Author: toni

~ 10/15/09


Well my MAMMAKAZES. I came back last Friday from a lovely trip to Wailea, Maui. After weeks of illness, it was a much-needed break. And the amazing thing is that our illnesses seemed to vanish while on this little piece of heaven on Earth.

Whatever Julia and I are allergic to, it doesn’t grow on Maui. In fact, my body hadn’t felt so good in years. The climate, the temperature, everything suited me. And you know how I know? I never once thought about it. I never once felt too cold, or stuffed up, or coughed. It was as if my body was in its natural habitat.

Well, upon our return, our symptoms returned. It kind of sucks knowing you’re allergic to the place you call home. But then, that’s what medications and high insurance premiums are for. That and to line the pockets of pharmaceutical and insurance company execs.

So now I feel guilty that I am unable to immediately move my daughter to a place more conducive to her breathing.

And you know what guilt means. It means an excuse to sip a little guilt-assuaging cocktail. I’m not talking about getting stupid drunk to forget what ails ya. I’m talking about a little, take the edge off, fruity drink that reduces stress so you can live long enough to see your kid grow up. That’s my goal anyway.

So today, I want to present a cocktail AND a cake recipe. We ate at Tommy Bahamas near our hotel one night. And this was one of the yummiest cakes I have ever tasted. I’ve coupled it with their recipe for a Pina Colada. Perfection.


Tommy Bahama’s Piña Colada

1¾ parts Tommy Bahama White Sand® Rum
3½ parts pineapple juice or 3 slices of pineapple
1¾ parts coconut cream

Pour all ingredients into a blender with a scoop of crushed ice. Blend until smooth. Pour into a glass. Garnish with a slice of fresh pineapple and a maraschino cherry.


Tommy Bahama’s Pina Colada Cake

1 box Pillsbury Deluxe White Cake Mix
1 can Swiss Chalet White Chocolate Mousse
(Order Item #90026 at (1-800-34-Swiss) or
1 Quart heavy Cream
½ Cup Tommy Bahama Golden Sun® Rum
8 oz Crushed Pineapple-drained
½ Cup Toasted Coconut

Bake cake as directed in 2 – 9″ x 12″ rounds. Cool. Slice off rounded top level with baking pan and cut each cake into 2 layers (4 cake layers in total). Make Mousse according to the directions. After the mousse mixture is complete, slowly add heavy cream. Increase speed until mousse and heavy cream are incorporated. Continue whipping until stiff.

Assembly: Generously brush each layer of the cake with Tommy Bahama Golden Sun® Rum. Spread the mousse mix evenly thick on the first layer. Sprinkle with some of the pineapple. Top with next cake layer and again, spread with mousse then pineapple. Continue with each layer. The layers of the cake and mousse should be the same height. Coat the sides and top with the mousse mix. Sprinkle toasted coconut over the finished cake.

To Serve: Cut into 8 pieces and serve at room temperature.


INDULGE AND ENJOY! And remember. Don’t drink and feel guilt.

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Author: toni

~ 10/02/09


Well, my MAMMAKAZES. I’m taking a much needed week long vacation. So my posting will be sporadic to say the least.

Julia has Fall break. And we’ve had a rough year health-wise. So it’s time for some down time. Some healing time. Some time to spend together as a family.

So for today’s cocktail, I thought I’d post something that is a fond memory from one of my favorite vacations ever. My honeymoon with Randy the perfekt husband in Hawaii…eleven years ago!

This is how it went. We took an early flight to Hawaii. I didn’t eat dinner. And when we got to the hotel we went straight for the bar. I’d never been to Hawaii before. And Randy introduced me to some wicked Hawaiian cocktails. And Hawaiian cocktails are HUGE and they don’t skimp on the alcohol.

Anyway, I had my MAI TAI but was impressed by the drink Randy was having. He said it was a LAVA FLOW and that I should try it. So I ordered one. I think he meant for me to sip his, but again, I was on our honeymoon. So…after downing my Mai Tai, I had the Lava Flow.

Well, I’m a lightweight when it comes to drinking. Combine that with an empty stomach and well, when we got back to the hotel room, I had a Lava Flow of a different kind.

Yes, I spent the first night of my honeymoon wrapped around a toilet. And that is how I got the nickname MAUNA TONI.

So, enjoy. Preferably in moderation and on a FULL stomach. Or Pele will have her revenge!



1 ounce Light rum
1 ounce Malibu rum
2 ounce Strawberries
1 Banana, ripe but not overripe
2 ounce Pineapple juice unsweetened
2 ounce Coconut cream


Lava Flow Preparation:
Blend strawberries and the two rums in a blender into a smooth paste. Pour the paste into a hurricane glass. Rinse the blender. Blend banana, coconut cream, and pineapple juice in blender until smooth. Pour this mixture into the glass with the rums SLOWLY. The strawberry/rum mix should creep up the sides of the glass to make a wonderful looking (and tasting) cocktail!



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Author: toni

~ 09/25/09


Know what I’m feeling guilty about this week? The fact that I have obviously passed on some serious allergies AND my throat spasms to my innocent little girl. Yep. For the last couple of weeks, her nighttime cough has ended with her throat closing. She awakens in a panic and the only thing that helps is if I give her water to drink. It opens her throat and she can breathe again. Needless to say, it’s scary and I’m at her side constantly in the night. 

I’ve been to pediatricians, I’ve been to ENTs. No one has an answer. My next step in an allergist. Meanwhile, I wonder when I’ll ever feel safe leaving her alone to sleep again?

I also wonder what we both could have been exposed to for us to be having these similar reactions. I’m horrified by the chemicals that have become part of our everyday lives. But I’ll save my feelings on this subject for a rant.

Right now, all I want is to for my little girl to feel healthy again. That’s the most important thing in the world.

So, this week, instead of drowning my blunders in an alcoholic cocktail. I feel more like healing them with a drink that is natural and refreshing and packed with those antioxidants everyone’s talking about. I don’t know if they work. But at this point I’d try anything. I’d buy a gallon of hand-bottled elixir from a dude wearing a straw hat in a tent who handles snakes and speaks in tongues.

So, drink up and heal whatever ails you.




1 cup strongly brewed green tea (2 tea bags to 1 cup water)
2 cups mango nectar
Ice cubes
Mint sprigs for garnish
Mango slivers for garnish

Combine tea and mango nectar in a pitcher. Serve over ice, garnished with mint sprigs and mango slivers.

NUTRITION INFORMATION: Per serving: 97 calories; 0 g fat (0 g sat, 0 g mono); 0 mg cholesterol; 25 g carbohydrate; 0 g protein; 1 g fiber; 4 mg sodium.

What you get: Antioxidants, vitamins A and C. (Chew the mint and you’ll get an extra bit of fiber and folate.)



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