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Alltop, confirmation that I kick ass

Author: toni

~ 04/12/09

Who are you and why do you think what you have to say is important?

As to who I am specifically – read the ABOUT MOI section of this website. It’ll give you way more info than you want.

As to part two of your question. Yes, I know. Everyone and his brother is convinced they have something important to say to the world via the internet. The difference is, I actually do.

Look, I’m just a regular mom who angsts over every decision I make regarding my kid. I am crippled with self-doubt and feelings of inadequacies that lead to overwhelming guilt the likes of which no religious upbringing can top (though religion can exacerbate it).

As a writer, I observe the world and the people around me. As a mother, I talk to a lot of other mothers. I’m just sharing what I observe. Maybe you’ll glean some insight from it. Maybe you won’t. I’m just puttin’ it out there, baby.   

Where’d you get the idea for this website?

Friday fun night. This is a weekly get-together (you guessed it, on Friday nights) where the neighborhood moms come over to my front courtyard. We make food for the kids. Appetizers and wine for us. We drink and talk about mommy things whilst the kiddies idyllically play in the cul de sac until they have serious street feet and it’s so far past their bedtimes we contemplate just keeping them up until breakfast.

During the course of the momversations, I noticed an emerging theme. All of us, without exception, felt guilty about our parenting. No matter how hard we tried/worked, we felt that it wasn’t good enough and we were somehow screwing up our kids. I can’t tell you how many times I heard the words “I’m such a bad mom” coming out a friend’s mouth. We comfort each other. The blended margaritas help assuage the guilt too. But we help each other. Reassure each other that we’re doing okay. And we feel better, until the next week anyway.

And I thought, if all my mommy friends feel so inadequate and guilty, there must be a whole world of mommies who feel the same way.

This website is dedicated to making them feel better about themselves.

If you’re supposed to be empowering women with what you write, why do some of your posts seem self-critical?

What do you mean SEEM? Get it? That’s called self-deprecating humor. You know, where you make jokes at your own expense. The truth is, of course there’s truth in it. I mean, what woman/mom isn’t self-critical? It’s part of the reason we feel so much guilt. The point is, we have to laugh at ourselves. That’s how we take the first steps toward lightening up and accepting ourselves. If it bothers you, may I suggest you’re a prime candidate for the “lightening up” part I was just mentioning. I’m just sayin’.

What the heck kind of domain name is Mammakaze?

Well, after much searching (of both my soul and for clever domain names that would succinctly and brilliantly sum up the idea of my website, I repeatedly hit dead ends. All the names were taken and if they weren’t initially, they would be by the time I got around to deciding it was the perfect name for me. Boy did that tick me off! Ask my husband who was witness to my tantrums.

So I sat down and really thought hard about what the website was about- moms killing ourselves with guilt, all the while sacrificing ourselves for our kids. (see genesis of idea above).

I thought, hey! We moms are kind of emotional kamikazes. From there came the term mammakaze.  Get it? Get it?

What’s with this annoying habit you have of spelling perfect with a “k”?

Because as moms, we all strive for perfektion (there I go again! how annoying). No… worse than that, we feel we HAVE to be perfekt or else. Well guess what? Ain’t no such thing. That “k” is my little annoying constant reminder that nothing is “perfect” even perfection. If it annoys you…maybe somebody needs to work on perfecting their tolerance.

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